What is self-harm?
Self-harm is when someone intentionally damages or injures their body.
There are many different ways people can intentionally harm themselves, such as cutting or burning their skin, punching or hitting themselves and poisoning themselves with tablets or toxic chemicals.
What does self-harm feel like?
Self-harm can help you to feel in control, and reduce uncomfortable feelings of tension and distress. If you feel guilty, it can be a way of punishing yourself and relieving your guilt. Either way, it can become a 'quick fix' for feeling bad.
What causes self-harm?
In most cases, people who self-harm do it to help them cope with overwhelming emotional issues, which may be caused by:
- Social problems - such as being bullied, having difficulties at work or school, coming to terms with their sexuality, debt or unemployment
- Trauma - such as physical or sexual abuse, the death of a close family member or friend, or having a miscarriage
- Psychological problems - such as low self-esteem, having repeated thoughts or voices telling them to self-harm, disassociating (losing touch with who they are and with their surroundings), or borderline personality disorder.
How can I get help for self-harm?
Identify triggers - Self-harm is often a way of dealing with emotional pain, so it is worth trying to identify what feelings make you want to hurt yourself. Once you are aware of your triggers you can take positive steps to reduce or stop the urge to self-harm.
Distract yourself - Distract from the urge to self-harm. Once you know your triggers, you can try and express your feelings in other ways. For example, hitting a pillow can help cope with anger, or having a cold shower can help you stop feeling numb.
Safety plan - Write a ‘safety plan’ for yourself. This could include details on what you can do for yourself, and who you can speak to if you need support. It can help to have something written down, and it is more likely to work because you choose the kind of support you feel most comfortable with.
Lifestyle - Look after your physical health as well as your mental health. Getting enough sleep, eating healthily and exercising regularly can help you feel more positive.
Talk - Ask for help and support. You don’t have to cope with all of your problems alone. It is important to find support. If you’re under 18 speak to adult you can talk to and trust.
Groups - Talk to other people who have had thoughts of self-harm. Their knowledge and experience can be helpful. Organisations such as MeHUCA (https://www.medcol.mw/mehuca/) can help you to do this.
Tips for families, partners and carers
People often try to keep self-harm secret because of shame or fear of discovery. It's often close family and friends who first notice when somebody is self-harming, and approaching the subject with care and understanding is very important.
If you think a friend or relative is self-harming, look out for any of the following signs:
- Unexplained cuts, bruises or burns, usually on their arms, wrists, thighs and chest.
- Keeping themselves fully covered at all times, even in hot weather.
- Signs of depression, like low mood, tearfulness or a lack of motivation or interest in anything.
- Self-loathing and expressing a wish to punish themselves.
- Not wanting to go on and wishing to end it all.
- Becoming very withdrawn and not speaking to others.
- Signs of low self-esteem, like blaming themselves for any problems or thinking they’re not good enough for something.
- Signs they have been pulling out their hair.
They may also have problems with drugs or alcohol, or have issues with eating. People who self-harm can seriously hurt themselves, so it is important to try to encourage them to speak to a healthcare worker about the underlying issue.
Talk to others who care for people who self-harm. They may have experienced similar situations and have useful tips. Organisations such as MeHUCA (https://www.medcol.mw/mehuca/) can help you to do this.